Monday 27 January 2014

The Beautiful Journey towards Motherhood.

-Dedicated to an anxious friend making her beautiful journey towards motherhood.

6 and a half months ago I was at a place in my life where I was feeling a lot of different things; the nerves, the unknown, the thought of labour pain, am I ready for motherhood and the alien looking fat feet - I was feeling alot of different things. It's sometimes difficult to explain and only someone who's been through this will truly understand. The final trimester in pregnancy is definitely the most nerve-wracking especially when it's your first pregnancy. Some days I'd keep myself busy in the home and forget about the day when I had to deliver, forget about the pains labour may bring. Some days I'd feel so nervous and worried and my dear husband would remind me of the story of Maryam [as] in the Qur'an. How alone she was, yet she trusted in her Lord. How worried she must have been at the thought of what her community may be thinking at her being pregnant and now with child where she claims no man had ever touched her, yet she trusted her Lord.
And the pains of childbirth drove her to the trunk of a palm tree. She said, "Oh, I wish I had died before this and was in oblivion, forgotten." (19.23)
I used to read this verse and feel nervous that Maryam [as] was in so much pain. Because it is intense! But the response to her words by Jibreel would ease my nerves.
But he called her from below her, "Do not grieve; your Lord has provided beneath you a stream. (19.24) 
This made be me believe with conviction that Allah would never place a burden on anyone who could not bare it. Allah knew Maryam [as] would bare this, in the same way I would and so have many millions of mothers everywhere.

I began to tell myself that being pregnant and having a baby is something so natural and as Allah tells us with every hardship there is ease. InshaAllah I remained confident and tried not to panic. My supportive family made my experience all the more easier, alhamdulillah.

Whilst the pangs of labour began quite slowly they certainly gave me a fright at the beginning, especially when you come to terms with the fact that the day has finally arrived. You are going to have a baby! I think there is a real blessing in the early stages of labour where the pain isn't as intense and comes about every hour. It allows you to overcome the shock of being in labour. Because I had attended a pain relief session both my husband and I were fully aware of what to expect if the situation changed. So I was mentally prepared there.

Really and truly for me the experience as a whole was something so beautiful. I saw before my eyes a real miracle from Allah, what greater sign could I need to be even more convinced that all praises are due to Allah. I knew at the time of intense pain I was on my own. Whilst I had all the support I needed in the labour room, it was really down to me to do this. But I needed Allah to help. With almost all the contractions, I prayed Allah would get me through this. I was no longer nervous or worried. In fact I developed a new feeling inside. I'm going to do this. I will do this. And by the will of Allah swt I did. It was the most fabulous feeling ever to have delivered a baby girl. And the strangest thing was I forgot the pains of labour. It is so natural!


I know my dear friend is thinking I've painted the most fairy tale picture of being in labour! But I guess 6 months later it still seems so surreal! It is of course a different experience for everyone. The key thing is I think is not to panic, remain positive and know you can do it! InshaAllah!

Yes there is pain, yes it hurts and yes it will feel never ending on the day but yes you will be able to cope and you will pull through inshaAllah. Trust in Allah swt to pull you through every difficult situation you are faced with. You will be rewarded with a real bundle of joy straight after all the hardship inshaAllah.

Saturday 18 January 2014

Operation: Fajr

Allahu Akbar, Allahu Akbar...My eyes open. I see nothing but darkness. Stillness and silence engulfs my room. I hear the faint Arabic words from the adhaan clock situated in the upstairs landing. I'm smiling. Alhamdulillah I'm awake for fajr. The next thing I remember thinking is 'My bed is so warm. I'm just going to stay in the duvet listening to the rest of the beautiful call to prayer...' All of a sudden my thoughts are interrupted by the sounds of the baby's whimpering coming from the cot to the side of the room. As I open my eyes, my room is bright, full of the morning rays of light. I look up at my dainty pink clock. It's 8a.m. What a dissappointment - I missed my fajr prayer! :(

This feeling is by far one of the worst feelings to carry with you throughout the day. This struggle of mine hasn't always been around. In fact there was once a time I looked forward to fajr so much so that I could fight off shaytaan's whispers in the morning. I would look forward to reciting/memorising Qur'an in the time remaining just after the Morning Prayer before getting ready for my daily commute to work. Then life changed. I entered a new phase of my life - marriage and now motherhood - mashaAllah both are very beautiful aspects of life. But I was lifted out of my comfort zone as soon as I focussed and thought I had very much established prayer throughout my life. Allah swt felt I was ready for the next level. And the challenges to maintain the Morning Prayer on a regular basis began.

I missed the serenity of the morning in conversing with my Lord, the chirruping of the birds, that peace of mind and barakah in the early morning. Gone. 

But, as Muslims we don't give up this easy. We strive, we strive and we strive some more. Our tests are never ending in this life and its how we respond to these tests that determine whether we pass them or not. The story of Ibrahim's (as) test on sacrificing his son Ismaeel comes to mind. He did not fall into despair but trusted in his Lord as did Ismaeel who did not fear the thought of dying because all knowledge and power belonged to Allah. And the outcome of their test was so great that Ibrahim's many generations down the line perform the outcome/reward of his test during the time of the pilgrimage of Hajj (Eid ul Adha) whereby they now sacrifice an animal instead. May Allah be pleased with them both. 

Operation Fajr:
1. The first step I'd advise all struggling like I am is to make sincere dua constantly that the outcome of this test of yours is successful.
2. Step 2: With knowledge comes great responsibility (Yes, I took that from spiderman and rephrased to suit me) Watch this fabulous lecture by Mufti Ismail Menk on Simple Ways to Change Yourself. Once you are reminded you should remember by acting on that which you have been reminded of!
3. Download this highly intelligently thought out app called 'Never MissFajr' from your play store on your smart phone. (also available on iphone)
4. Sleep early, wake up early!
5. Never Give Up!

I pray Allah swt makes our tests easy on us and enables us to be constantly reminded to fulfill the obligatory acts of worship. Ameen